Here Abide Monsters

Quest for the Axe of the Dwarvish Lords

Quest for the Axe of the Dwarvish Lords

After the Coronation of King Tharn, a small party of four assembled: Prince Fritzie, his cousin Hilda, Vlad the porter, and the inquisitor from the north. It was decided that the continued revenge of fairyland on King Tharn was getting bad for the health of Tharlonia so something would have to be done to stop it.

After a great deal of talking and consulting their lore and learning regarding fairyland, fey politics, and fey etiquette, the following was known and decided. The council of fairyland consists of representatives of the gnomes, the dwarves, the goblins, the trolls, the elves, the dark elves, and the gnolls, but is mostly dominated by the elves who were the ones who came up with the Tiend and presumably renegotiated the new deal to take back fairyland from Hell. The other factions aren’t terribly pleased with this, but it’s the way things are, and it requires a unanimous vote for them to get anything done as a whole, not just a simple majority. Consequently any one faction can mire any decision.

Fey politics being what it is, the only thing the fey would forgive Tharn for for ruining their last Tiend would be for him to do such a deed that the leaders of at least one of the factions of fairyland to owe him a Boon, which is to say, a great debt of gratitude in the fey sense. The best bet? The dwarves, who are relatively silent on the council but exceedingly stubborn, and anything they do want, they get, since they will simply drag down the proceedings of the council until everyone finally caves, which is why most simply do it early. Thankfully, the dwarves want very little so rarely do this.

One thing they do want, however, is the Axe of the Dwarvish Lords. It was lost during the Magewars and was last seen 230 years ago when it was believed to have surfaced in the flea markets of Paridelle. The owner, who was apparently turning into a dwarf from the axe’s effects, was last seen venturing into the sewers of Paradelle to take his rightful place as King of the Dwarves. However, as he never got to fairyland, mages are pretty certain the axe may still be down there somewhere. There was a big to-do 200 years ago with folk trying to find it, which stopped when too many people went missing or dead.

Consequently, the party got into the flying tower the wizard made and decided to fly off to the city of Paridelle. En route, they encountered an invisible stalker as they crossed the peaks of the World’s Edge mountains (set there to guard some wizard’s lair 600+ years ago). Vlad managed to wrestle the steering away from the stalker before it could crash the tower into the mountainside and the party continued on. The rest of the party (played by the players unavailable this week) were passed out from altitude sickness in the next room of the tower.

Continuing on across the ocean, they spotted a young green dragon flying lazily through the clouds and completely botching his perception check as he did the back stroke through the skies. It was decided to take the world’s easiest dragon kill, since if a dragon flying 200 MPH impacts the adamantium prow of a tower proceeding 200 MPH the other direction, what exactly happens?

Continuing on, the city of Paradelle came into view. It was chosen to land outside the city gates in a caravan turn-out beside the road where there was a carriage out waiting with someone watching from the roof. Vlad masterfully maneuvered the tower, parking it mere inches from the carriage. The groom, not so masterfully, failed his handle animal check and the horses bolted, pulling the carriage into the ditch, but the man on the roof managed to jump off gracefully to greet the party when they emerged.

It was the Marquis D’Ermot, a foppish dandy with powdered face, cravat, beauty mark on his cheek, scented handkerchief, and currently his carriage in the mud while his apparently long-suffering groom attempted to save the horses.

The party helped, the Inquisitor healing the one who’d broken a leg, Hilda catching the other who’d run off into the field, and Vlad mightily lifting the carriage out of the ditch. The mud and drainage water were another matter, but it was clean atop the carriage and the party rode with the marquis atop his carriage into the city, past many passerby gawking at them, past the city guards who only had to be told “The Marquis D’Ermot and his guests,” and on to the Marquis’s townhouse, where they were served a delightful lunch of champagne, caviar, and snails cooked in garlic which the inquisitor swallowed to be polite.

Vlad, meanwhile, went with the groom to the livery stable and proceeded to wash the carriage and themselves while the girls doing the washing at the fountain looked on and checked out Vlad’s muscles in a scene somewhere between “Carwash” and “Les Miserables.”

The marquis then took the party to the flea market, which was halfway between the flea markets of Paris and Portobello Road. They found one barrow (meaning wheelbarrow) apparently selling things looted from the other sort of barrow (as in barrow mound) or more to the point, from the catacombs beneath the city, including an incredibly corroded silver candelabra which the inquisitor and Vlad figured out was haunted or at least otherwise significant to a ghost who would probably come back to retrieve it. They frighted the graverobber into selling it for is value as scrap and there the session ended.

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